Dear Moms of Toddlers

Get a group of moms together and what will you hear? The conversation nearly always revolves around the children -- potty-training fails, sleeping woes, picky-eater pains, and attitude issues. For those of us with 3 year olds, our words can all too often focus on whatever annoyance or behavior-problem has recently presented itself. I think it's great and wonderful to get support and advice from other moms, to encourage one another and allow each other to vent as needed... but what message does this venting send out? What do other moms hear? and What do our kids hear?

Our conversations affect others. Whether its the new mom with a 6 month old, or a mom expecting her first baby, or even a friend who's still trying for her first baby... what we vent about can have a great impact on them. When we incessantly complain about all the horrors that come with toddlerhood, that can really scare these moms who aren't to that stage yet. You may also think that your kiddo is too young to understand what you're saying, but let me tell you, they hear more than you realize. How might your toddler feel if at every play date they overhear you complaining about their talking back, their discipline problems, their not napping, their eating habits, yada yada? Yes, kids are resilient, but they are so unbelievably sensitive at this age. This is the time when they're learning about relationships and figuring out who they can trust, who they can rely on, who values them and loves them.

Life with a toddler is challenging, no doubt. And I certainly am not recommending that we all put on happy smiley faces and lie to one another. For one, it's good to release some of that pent up frustration (especially if you're typically cooped up in the house alone with the kids day-in and day-out). Friends can pray for you in whatever parenting struggle you're facing - and prayer is powerful! It also does no one any good if we go around pretending our parenting is perfect - all that does is help to tear other moms down when they wonder why they're the only ones struggling. We should be honest and open about our parenting issues. We should share our frustrations with others who may be able to help us - even if only with an understanding nod and sigh.

But we must also be willing and ready to share the joys, the triumphs, and the blessings of having our toddlers. Now, that doesn't mean you should go out and rub everyone's face in the fact that you potty-trained your son with no hassle by the time he was 20 months after another mom expresses frustration with her two year old just not getting the potty thing. We must be careful not to venture into boasting as we rejoice in our parenting victories.

What does rejoicing do? Well, there's the obvious -- it helps those other moms who may be terrified about the "terrible twos"see that there are wonderful times ahead. It shows our children that we do, indeed, delight in them. But it also forces us to focus on those positives! When we hear our friends sharing the little things they love about parenting their little people, it helps us to look passed the poo accident that happened that morning, passed the broccoli thrown on the floor, passed the backtalking and instead focus on the blessings we see in our own toddler -- the amazing hugs he gives every morning, the way he delights in helping make breakfast, the way he still likes to snuggle for story time. So let's celebrate our toddlers. Let's share the good times. Let's show other moms that there are some rainbows and sunshine amongst the clouds of tantrums.

Photo by Briana Rose Photography

If you have a toddler, do you find that you complain a lot about the challenges?

If you don't yet have a toddler, are you scared of when you will?

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30 Day Scripture Challenge
Day 21: Forgiveness

Linking up with Thriving Thursday at Serving Joyfully